EWE: THE GANG DVD

Narrated by: Tom Hanks
Release Date: August 31st, 2011
Produced by: Sir Christopher Macias

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Stunt Director: Zeus
Stunt Performers: None
Note: There were no stunts performed in the making of this movie.
All rights reserved to MWA Films™ and Modern Wrestling Association™.

DISK 1

"The Gang. The Gang is known in the whole world as that, the Gang. Formed by JoMo the HoMo, Colonel Swagger, Lucas, Lucas' Owner, and That Guy You Don't Want As Your Boss, back in 2009, were an unofficial group in the global phenomenon known as Extreme Wrestling Empire. They weren't many, they weren't always hanging with each others. But one thing they were, was priceless, when they united."

The scene fades in to show a short scene of Chris Jericho and John Morrison brawling...Actually it's just Jericho beating up Morrison with CM Punk's help.

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"How were they born, you ask? First, tough love... Jericho and Morrison ended up forming a Tag Team for no reason after weeks of rivalry. They were called the Kings of Sexy, and went through a CENSORED of shenanigans."

A highlight video shows, with the Kings of Sexy theme song, we are now watching Chris Jericho and John Morrison, dancing like it's the 70s at a party at Jericho's house, by the pool. Transitions now into John Morrison walking with Alicia Fox into a room, and Chris Jericho falling asleep beside the pool. Cut to now John Morrison free-falling off a helicopter with a bottle o'Jack on his hand. Fading back to Y2J watching that happening on TMZ...Now Morrison and Jericho talking at JoMo's house entry.

JOHN MORRISON
Wait--Say no more. You watch TMZ?

CHRIS JERICHO
Uh...

Cut to Morrison waking up at the poolside, early morning, with a vodka bottle on his right hand...empty...obviously, when Chris Jericho picks it up, while smoking a blunt...

CHRIS JERICHO
Dude...You missed the nekked chicks.

JOHN MORRISON
THERE WERE NEKKED CHICKS!?

The highlight video ends.

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"When did Matt Hardy come along? Even I am not one to explain. One certain night, the XPlosion General Manager Chris Jericho decided to invite over Jack Evans, the opposite brand, Gayne--Uh, Genesis General Manager up to his show, Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel. Right making his entrance, Evans was hit by Matt Hardy who then announced his trade over to the superior brand...With a fire extinguisher."

We cut to a never before seen video of Matt Hardy on the Friday before said night, which is known due to the home video date on the lower right corner of the video... In the safety of his own Jacuzzi on the outside of his house, with Lucas the dog right by his side, sitting on the outside. Hardy fails, trying to do a sexy look at the camera.

MATT HARDY
What is up my followers. Followers of the Mattitude. Are you ready?...Tomorrow night...Almost in exactly 24 hours there will be an announcement, as you can see by the date down here. He tries pointing at the lower right corner of the camera's reach. Doesn't matter...If you're watching this, that means I'm dead--I'm not letting this video out, not by my own will, and I will kick your ass if you come try and steal it from me. Either me or my guard dog Lucas will bite your balls off, ain't that right Lucas?

The small dog whines and walks away.

MATT HARDY
Anyway, I want to discuss a sign I saw last night on Genesis...It clearly read "True PEEPS follow MATTITUDE!"...And I can't lie, I enjoyed it, a lot, props to whoever made it but I'm sorry, Christian's a really stand-up kind of guy and I have to apologize for the Mattitude of my fans.

Hardy laughs at his own pun, like a dumbass.

MATT HARDY
Anyway. Tomorrow, Saturday Night. Special Guest. Those are the keywords. Get ready...MATTITUDE ERA-AH--WILL, RUN, WILD-AH...ON YOU-AH!

Hardy stands up as he points, before realizing he was completely naked, and covers himself before pressing the button to finish the video.. Obviously his intimate parts were pixel-censored. The scene cuts out.

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"Every time they are questioned about Christian's alliance with the group, Jericho, Morrison, Hardy and Christian himself say 'he just showed up someday'. But never explain under which circumstances he showed up. Nope. But fear not, those circumstances will now be explained, as one of the unanswered questions to the Gang stops being unanswered."

The scene shows Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy and John Morrison playing Strip Poker with 4 women at Smitty's, EWE and MWA's favorite bar. Morrison is already only in his underwear, and Matt Hardy and Jericho look down at him, knowing he's losing on purpose, like the fagbag that he is.

LITTLE BLUE MAN IN A LITTLE BLUE POLICE COSTUME
What the hell is going on in here?!

Jericho and Matt Hardy both leap up to their feet, showing that they're only both wearing tanktops and boxer shorts already, as the half-naked women cover themselves and run away, Morrison running behind them like a crazy ass neanderthal.

LITTLE BLUE MAN IN A LITTLE BLUE POLICE COSTUME
Can one of you explain me what the fuck this shit is?!

CHRIS JERICHO
Officer--

The cop cuts him off.

LITTLE BLUE MAN IN A LITTLE BLUE POLICE COSTUME
SHUT UP!

MATT HARDY
No, YOU, shut up!

Jericho sighs and facepalms at Matt.

LITTLE BLUE MAN IN A LITTLE BLUE POLICE COSTUME
That's it! You're coming wi--

SUDDENLY SOMEONE HITS THE COP WITH A BASEBALL BAT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. Smoking a cigar and looking like a total Hannibal Smith rip-off is Christian, who holds the bat over his shoulder with style.

CHRIS JERICHO
Oh thank God...

Colonel Swagger puts out his cigar and puts it in his shirt chest-pocket.

CHRISTIAN
Come on, let's get out of here, pretty sure we'll all fit in my jeep...

They both thank him and follow him, without even picking up their clothes. Behind follow John Morrison and the 4 undressed women.

"The feed was then lost. This my friends, was how the infamous Gang came together. Check us out in Disk 2 for more of their famous, and also their unseen shenanigans...Shenanigans...Gotta love that word."

DISK 2

"The Gang is mostly known for it's...well--Shenanigans. In this second disk, I, Tom Hanks, and the producer Sir Christopher Macias have put together their best never-before-seen moments, as well as their most famous ones. We're going to start with a classic!"


CLASSIC SCENE #1

The scene fades in to Chris Jericho's office's outside. Christian is banging on the door but he just seems to be getting ignored by the King of the World.

CHRISTIAN
Chris, I know you're in there!

Christian leans with his ear against the door and hears someone being pushed behind the door. Christian just shrugs and sighs before banging on the door again.

CHRIS JERICHO
IT'S FUCKIN' OPEN!

Christian rubs his beard, realizing that he was being an idiot, then opens the door. To begin with, he looks behind the door, where he sees Maryse covering her breasts with one arm, she just smiles at him, embarrassed. Christian shrugs and walks towards the desk after closing the door. Then stops halfway.

CHRISTIAN
Hey Katie!

A disturbed Jericho pretends to not know what Christian is on about, even though he's sweating like a whore in church.

CHRIS JERICHO
Katie? What Kati--Who? What are you talking about..?

Christian rolls eyes...

CHRISTIAN
I can see her feet out of the desk, Chris.

Jericho sighs...

CHRIS JERICHO
Maybe we should talk la--

CHRISTIAN
No! Morrison and I were completely screwed out there, you're gonna let Dinero out with that?

Jericho pulls up his jeans and gets up while strapping on his belt.

CHRIS JERICHO
Let's go.

They both walk out of the office as the scene fades out, the crowd laughs as we see Katie Lea Burchill dressing up, yet showing the camera nothing explicit.


NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN SCENE #3
(MATT HARDY'S JACUZZI ONE IS #1
CHRISTIAN SHOWING UP IS #2)

We fade in to see what looks to be Chris Jericho's house. Sitting on a different couch as Christian are Hardy and Jericho on one, and John Morrison on an armchair. The small living room table has around twenty empty beer bottles, and some yet untouched. They all seem to be having a great time until silence is made as the house phone rings. Christian signals everybody to shut up, then stealthily presses the speakers button on the phone...

CHRISTIAN
WHO THE FUCK IS IT?

An almost-offended female voice is heard.

DENISE
Uh--Jason? It's your wife.

A nervous and embarrassed Christian picks up the earphone to try and set loud speakers off, unfortunately for him it doesn't work. Y2J is completely wasted already, and Matt and Morrison are forcing themselves not to laugh loudly at Christian, who just gives up and looks like he's ready to take in the embarrassment of talking to his wife on speakers.

DENISE
Are you even there?

CHRISTIAN
Y-Yes honey.

Hardy impersonates Christian, with a really gay-sounding voice.

MATT HARDY
Yes honey.

Christian seems angry at Hardy.

DENISE
What was that?

She actually laughs...

CHRISTIAN
Nothing, nothing. It's just Chris' phone that is completely wrecked already, I don't even...Look I'll be home soon, alright? Love you...Bye.

Denise now fails to hang up by accident. As soon as Christian is about to do so, we hear her on the other side.

DENISE
He doesn't sound like he's coming home any time soon...I'm so horny Ted...Come here...

CHRISTIAN
WHAT THE F--

The scene abruptly cuts off.

"Yes, it was Ted DiBiase if you're wondering, and yes, Christian ran the hell over...We all realize it was ridiculously stupid on her part to have her lover home while his husband is just on the neighbor's house...But that apparently is a turn-on for some people...I don't even--"


CLASSIC SCENE #2

We see Chris Jericho and Matt Hardy playing billiard in Matt's locker room. Christian and John Morrison are also there, they are seen playing EWE: The Game on a Sony PlayStation 3. Each of them seems to be playing as themselves. Matt hits the ball with the cue and manages to get two balls in. He then re-positions himself and focuses at the cue ball, while he speaks.

MATT HARDY
Being champion sure has its ups. I'm still looking for the downs though...

Matt hits the cue ball and barely misses the targeted one, leading the cue ball to go in.

CHRIS JERICHO
That's one...

As Chris was positioning himself to take a shot, John was using his foot to press the restart button on the PS3.

CHRISTIAN
You can't restart the game every time you lose. What is you excuse this time?

JOHN MORRISON
I didn't know there was a count out...

CHRISTIAN
WHAT THE FUCK! You are the one that chose the rules. What the hell is that matter with you...?

Christian was going to continue arguing, but Jericho interrupts him. Jericho grabs the PS3, plugs it off and throws it out the window! Christian and John Morrison get up and run in that direction!

CHRISTIAN // MORRISON
No, no, no, no, no!!! NO!

Christian stares at Jericho as Morrison is looking, disappointed, with one arm down out of the window, his hand open, with a sad look on his face, at the crashed PlayStation 3...

CHRISTIAN
What was THAT for?!

Jericho sighs and smirks before speaking, John walks back and also looks straight on his face.

CHRIS JERICHO
Just shut the fuck up and come play pool! Pairs, me and John versus you and the champ!

Matt taunts, without losing focus on the playing.

CHRISTIAN
Ah, fine!

After a while of playing silently, Christian strikes up a conversation between the four. Christian hits the cue ball into another ball causing it to go in the hole.

CHRISTIAN
BOOM! Christian gets in Jericho's face. That's how...I...roll!

Christian turns to Matt and hands him the pool stick as he leaves the table and opens the mini bar fridge. He looks inside.

CHRISTIAN
What the hell Matt! All you have is water and Kool-Aid. What are you twelve? Where's the beer at?

Christian pulls out four packets of Kool-Aid, he puts three of them on the table and takes one from himself. Jericho picks up one.

CHRIS JERICHO
OH YEAH!!! They all chuckle, he drops it back. I'm joking I hate this, there's Coronas over there on the other fridge...

Christian goes over and takes out two beers, popping them open and handing one to Chris.

CHRISTIAN
This is getting boring, I'm going to turn this into a party.

Christian pulls out his cellphone and dials a number. He puts it up to his ear and starts talking. John Morrison tries to listen to the call but Christian just turns his body away and shoves Morrison away from the phone. Christian hangs up and puts the phone back in his pocket as Jericho is now playing as it's his turn.

MATT HARDY
Who was that?

Christian looks at Matt, who is chalking the tip of the cue stick.

CHRISTIAN
Well you're just going to have to wait and find o--

As Christian says that they hear a knock at the door. Christian opens it and two women walk in. Christian gets in between them by the door and puts his arms around them both.

CHRISTIAN
Gentlemen, this is Torrie Wilson and Talia Madison...They were backstage for the show.

Matt, Jericho, and Morrison smile. Christian, Torrie and Talia all turn around and begin to walk out the door as Jericho, Matt, and Morrison's smiles turn to confusement. Just as Christian is about to walk out of the door and leave.

CHRIS JERICHO
Wait! I thought you said you were going to make this a party?

Christian turns back around and smiles.

CHRISTIAN
I did. This is a party in my pants and only they, he points with his head at Talia and looks at Torrie, are invited. Now if you'd excuse me...

Christian turns back around with the girls and leaves. Before he goes away he pokes his head back in.

CHRISTIAN
Don't worry I wouldn't leave you guys hanging! Any minute now your "guest" will arrive.

Christian and the girls laugh as the three of them leave. Jericho Matt and Morrison just stand there still being able to hear what Christian is saying to the girls.

CHRISTIAN
Torrie...Talia...I promise you...tonight...will become an...instant...classic... The girls giggle as Christian chuckles. Oh yes, the Captain will make it happen!

Jericho, Matt and Morrison shrug and continue playing pool for a few minutes when the hear a loud knock at the door. Jericho opens it and ODB runs in.

ODB
BAM! Yah lets get this party started.

ODB pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels and starts guzzling it down. She jumps on the pool table throws the bottle into the wall and starts her dance.

MATT HARDY
SHIT!

ODB turns around, stares at Matt and has a big frown on her face.

ODB
What do you mean shit?

Matt Hardy looks like he's trying to think of a way to get himself out of this problem.

MATT HARDY
Crap, poop, number two, you know--that kind of stuff...

ODB looks pissed off.

ODB
I know what you meant. Why did you say it?

Matt quickly replies.

MATT HARDY
[color=silver]Because you look so damn hot. But John here has a crush on you and as a friend, I can't get in the way.

Matt Hardy points at Morrison, as ODB stares at him with glittery eyes. Morrison looks like he is about to throw up.

MATT HARDY
I also said that, because I need to go to the bathroom. Bye-bye!

Matt Hardy walks towards the door and opens it.

CHRIS JERICHO
You have a bathroom right here, you asked for it personally...

Matt ignores Chris and slams the door shut behind him.

CHRIS JERICHO
Jackass. Jericho looks back at ODB, then back at the door. WAIT--MATT!

Jericho leaves behind Matt, leaving JoMo and ODB alone. Scene fades out.


CLASSIC SCENE #3

Chris Jericho, Christian, Matt Hardy and John Morrison are at Y2J's home in Tampa, along with many other people. We see Morrison and Hardy at the pool with Tyson Tomko, Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler, playing some game with a beach ball. Christian and Jericho are doing barbecue. Suddenly, for some reason, Christian grabs a fork and sticks it in a pork chop, then throws it in the air, making it fall on the grill. Jericho laughs and takes a gulp from a bottle of Corona. On the other side, we see the Shaman of Sexy, John Morrison, getting out of the pool and into Jericho's house, after a matter of seconds, he walks out with a football. He then throws it at Tomko, who falls back on the water as he grabs it. JoMo runs and dives head first into the pool!

CHRIS JERICHO
Just to think the party's just getting started, it's starting to worry me...

CHRISTIAN
Worry? Why the fuck are you worried, it's a party!

CHRIS JERICHO
Last time me and Johnny were together at a party, he ended up missing naked chicks and then he parachuted off an airplane with a bottle of whisky in his hand and all... Look, whatever you do, don't trust John if he's drunk, alright?

Cage shrugs his shoulders and turns around to face the barbecue grill, ON FIRE!

CHRISTIAN
CHRIS! GET A FUCKING EXTINGUISHER!!

Jericho simply grabs a water hose and turns it on, extinguishing the flames with water.

CHRISTIAN
Ah fuck, now what are we gonna eat?

Chris Jericho jogs off to his garage and gets another grill in a box, yet to be set-up.

CHRISTIAN
Another one?

CHRIS JERICHO
Yeah, I have twenty of these back there, it was an offer from Vince to buy EWE, I told him he could, but he had to pay before and after, so he sent me these, and I then called off the deal, do I rule or what?!

They both laugh and high five! Meanwhile Matt Hardy is talking with other people in the pool, when suddenly bubbles come out from the back of Matt Hardy as he lets out a sigh. People in the pool facepalm, while Matt leaves the pool.

MATT HARDY
Bathrooms are so overated...

Matt Hardy walks to Cage and Jericho who just finished setting up the new BBQ grill.

MATT HARDY
I'm hungry.

Matt Hardy takes a piece of beef and shoves it into his mouth.

CHRISTIAN
What the hell Matt? Thats raw meat.

MATT HARDY
RAW is overated. SMACKDOWN! FOR THE WIN!

Christian looks confused.

CHRIS JERICHO
Never argue with Matt. It's pointless and you might just end up losing brain cells.

MATT HARDY
Thanks for the compliment.

CHRISTIAN
I think I just understood what you mean.

They hear a car horn.

MATT HARDY
That must be the Pizza...

Christian poked Matt.

CHRISTIAN
The hell Matt, this was supposed to be a barbecue par...

Just as Christian was about to finish his sentence, Matt shoved him into the floor and walked away. Jericho pulls up Christian.

CHRIS JERICHO
Never get in the way of Matt and his pizza.

Matt bumps into Stan.

Stan: Hey Matt, great pa...

The last words Stan said weren't clear, as his breath faded from the gut kick Matt gave him. TWIST OF FATE! Christian stares on, shocked and speechless.

CHRISTIAN
That's great advice.

Chris Jericho shrugs as he doesn't look suprised at all. The Hart Dynasty, DH Smith, Tyson Kidd and Natalya are inside the house, Natalya and Kidd are dancing while DH Smith who has had quite too much to drink tries to get their attention...

DH SMITH
Hey guys I'm not feeling so good, I think I need some help...

DH gets to his feet and starts to stagger his way over to Natalya and Kidd who continue dancing oblivious to the fact that he wants their attention...

DH SMITH
Tyson, man, I think I've had too much to drink, I'm not feeling too good.

TYSON KIDD
DH man go away, can't you see me Natalya are trying to dance, give us some space, go outside you might feel better after some fresh air.

DH Smith starts to look like he will throw up any second

TYSON KIDD
Hey Harry you alright?...

Before DH Smith can answer he throws up other Natalya, and looks at both Tyson and Natalya before passing out on the floor... Everybody turns to the dance floor looking at DH. Jericho and Christian turn off the BBQ as everybody walks over to DH who is on the ground. They circle around him.

TRAVIS TOMKO
Yo, give him some air!

Christian and Jericho bend closer to DH. Christian smells him.

CHRISTIAN
Ah dude! Totally reeks of too much partying!

CHRIS JERICHO
He's totally hammered!

CHRISTIAN
Hey Jericho, why don't we uh... Help sober him up.

Jericho and Christian smile at each other. They stand up and shuffle around DH.

CHRIS JERICHO
Get his legs, I'll get his arms.

They lift him up. But Christian stops and drops DH's legs on the ground.

CHRISTIAN
What am I thinking...? Tomko!

Christian snaps his fingers at Tomko and points to DH as Jericho drops his arms on the ground. Tomko walks over and grabs DH by the bod and puts him over his shoulder.

CHRISTIAN
Bring him to the edge of the pool, make it snappy!

Tomko drops DH at the side of the pool. Jericho grabs DH's arms and Christian grabs his legs. They swing him back in forth.

CHRIS JERICHO
One... Two... Three!

They let go and fling DH into the pool. DH splashes around coughing but he gets to the edge of the pool holding on to the rail. Christian and Jericho wipe their hands and then high five.

CHRISTIAN
Hey Chris! There is only one thing that can really make this party.

CHRIS JERICHO
What's that?

Christian pulls out a brown paper bag and reaches inside pulling out a small plastic thing.

CHRISTIAN
A kazoo!

Christian looks into the home camera and holds up the kazoo.

CHRISTIAN
Get the official Christian Kazoo! Now at EWEShop.com! Don't ever leave home without your Christian Kazoo. Order now and get your choice of an extra "Genesis Sucked Kazoo", or the brand new "Kevin Thorn Kazoo"! When you blow on it it makes an annoying whiny noise.

Christian turns back to Jericho.

CHRIS JERICHO
What song are you going to play Christian?

CHRISTIAN
Well this is a party, and what party is there without the Guru of Greatness..John Morrison!

CHRIS JERICHO
Great idea! JoMo get over here!

Christian starts to play Morrison's theme song as the latter strikes a slow-motion pose with Jericho singing.

CHRIS JERICHO
Now listen...This ain't no make believe, c'mon open your eyes and see...

After a while more of partying, drinking, and swimming, the sun is starting to set. Matt Hardy is at the end of the outside table, eating Pizza by himself. JoMo and Christian are putting the BBQ dinner on the table, Jericho stares at the table and leaves the pool.

CHRIS JERICHO
DINNER TIME!!

CHRISTIAN
TONIGHT WE FEAST!!

Christian laughs and high fives Jericho again. Everyone starts heading to the table...Brock Lesnar arrives, he pats Tomko in the back, making him stagger.

TRAVIS TOMKO
What the...

Travis then grabs Brock and jokingly tries to shove him into the pool! Morrison runs from behind and shoves them both, even though they're wearing jeans and shoes, into the water!!!

JOHN MORRISON
THIS...IS...SPARTA!!!

JoMo then runs...SHOOTING STAR PRESS...on the water.

MATT HARDY
Vintage John Morrison, huh?

CHRISTIAN
Come on, guys, I'm fucking hungry!

Lesnar, Morrison and Tomko get out of the pool and sit at the table. Jericho gets up and hits his glass with a spoon, trying to look sophisticated, until he breaks the glass. Matt's dog, Lucas, starts barking at Jericho, as it sits on the chair next to Matt's.

CHRIS JERICHO
Hey, shoosh!

MATT HARDY
Don't "shoosh" Lucas!

CHRIS JERICHO
Yeah, whatever... I want to say something!

Everyone stops making noise, and they stare at Jericho.

CHRIS JERICHO
We are here tonight to celebrate the 5 Month Anniversary of Extreme Wrestling Empire! I want to propose a toast, to the person who made this all possible...Chris Jericho...aka..Me!

Some people laugh, others toast.

CHRIS JERICHO
I'm so awesome!

Jericho sits back and Matt Hardy gets up.

MATT HARDY
I would like to propose a toast, to Lucas! It's his second anniversary tonight! Happy Birthday Lucas!!

Some people laugh, others wish Lucas its happy birthday. The dog shakes his tail and starts eating Matt's Pizza.

MATT HARDY
Ah fuck it all!

Matt takes a bit of BBQ meat and sauce. Stan gets up.

Stan: I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING BEATEN EVERY SINGLE TIME I'M ON MOTHERFUCKING TV! I QUIT!!!

Most people ignore Stan, Jericho takes some time to finish eating what's already in his mouth, he swallows it and looks at Stan.

CHRIS JERICHO
You're not under contract...

Everyone laughs. Michael Cole, who is also at the party, sits back and speaks.

Michael Cole: OH MY! Vintage Stan!

Again, everybody laughs. Stan, frustrated, sits down and eats.

MATT HARDY
Hey Stan...

Stan turns his head. Lucas eats some of Stan's food while he's not looking.

MATT HARDY
Nevermind.

Stan starts eating again. Everybody starts laughing.

Stan: What's so funny?

MATT HARDY
You won't understand, it's an inside joke.

Stan looks confused. He continues eating, people laugh more after each bite he takes. The scene fades off.

NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN SCENE #4

Matt and Chris pass through the curtain onto the empty stage area, to see the empty arena. John Morrison and Christian Cage are in the ring. Cage throws Morrison twice away with Hip Tosses. Morrison quickly springboards, FLYING CHUCK! Cage crashes to the mat.

MATT HARDY
And the winner of this match, and the NEW! WORLD WRESTLING CHAMPION...JOHN MORRISON!

The four of them laugh, Jericho and Hardy get in the ring and help Christian up.

CHRIS JERICHO
So Christian, you're facing Triple H tonight, right? Oh wait, he ain't Triple H anymore is he, he's the sophisticated sissy ass Hunter Hearst Helmsley... Anyway, you guys wouldn't believe my entry number for Total Anarchy, fuck, it's low! But that doesn't matter, I'm sure one of the four of us, will go out there and give it all out to win that match! And you know what? I'm thinking about giving Rhodes his rightful revenge at..the Elite. I'm even considering thinking about booking him in a match against Ted DiBiase at the Pay-Per-View, but not just a regular match...I'm thinking about something like...The Ladder of Hell Match!

MATT HARDY
Ladder of Hell Matches are so overrated...

JOHN MORRISON
Hey I created that match you dumbass!

CHRISTIAN
Guys, calm down... You know what Chris, I think it's a great idea...

CHRIS JERICHO
Yeah, thanks, I'll see you guys later tonight.

Jericho gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp, then jumps to the part on the side of the stage area and walks away through there, goes back to his office as his phone rings.

CHRIS JERICHO
Hello?

JESSICA
Chris? It's Jessica, hi! When is the show airing tonight? You know I don't want the kids to watch Wrestling but if that's what you want...

CHRIS JERICHO
8 PM east time. You can't miss this show, darling, it'll be off the charts!

Jessica sighs, and then speaks.

JESSICA
I also want to talk to you about something else... You see, Chris, lately you've been on that world tour of EWE and in two months you only came home twice, the kids miss you, I miss you! Can't you just take a time off? You know I want to be with you and so do your kids...

As Jessica continues speaking and Jericho continues ignoring, John Morrison enters the office along with K2 and sits back on the couch, picks up his Nintendo DS and starts playing Scribblenauts.

JOHN MORRISON
What's up, Chris?

CHRIS JERICHO
Shut the hell up!

JESSICA
What?!

Jericho seems shocked and embarrassed.

CHRIS JERICHO
Oh sorry I was talking to Johnny... Look, I promise you I would take a time off if I could, but I'm running the currently most successful wrestling promotion in all of Sports Entertainment, so it's just impossible for me to do so. You know I can't trust Johnny to run the show all by himself, he'd turn the place upside down! Look I have to go, talk to you later, kiss, love you...

Chris sighs in relief and puts the cell in his pocket, then starts scribbling randomly on a paper.


CLASSIC SCENE #4

The scene fades in and it's Chris Jericho and Christian playing EWE: The Game on PS3. Out of nowhere, Christian hits the Killwitch for the pin.

CHRIS JERICHO
Ah fuck! I want a rematch!

Matt Hardy and John Morrison walk into the room, while talking to each other, Matt then walks to his locker and opens it, he looks surprised and he then turns around to stare at Chris.

MATT HARDY
Chris, where the hell is my attire?

CHRIS JERICHO
How the fuck would I know! It doesn't matter if you use your attire anyway, you just take off your shirt and wrestle in street clothes like you used to do all the time... Anyway, are you guys ready for your match?

MATT HARDY
NO! I just fucking told you that I can't find my attire.

Matt Hardy takes a seat.

MATT HARDY
Besides that, I am sure that our match will have some kind of an interference if you know what I mean. And you couldn't bother yourself to take a moment and ban Rated Legacy from ring side.

The Grim walks around a bit to releave some stress.

MATT HARDY
But It doesn't matter now, all that matter is to find my attire.

Christian gives Matt Hardy a weird stare.

MATT HARDY
Oh yeah and winning the match.

We pan to see Tom Hanks.

"Those were the most classic scenes that have come of the Gang...The Gang!...It just has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Either way...I have personally heard some rumors of the Gang returning to a television next to you soon enough!...And even though John Morrison is officially retired, I doubt that'll stop them, especially after sitting down with the three of the remaining members, and talking about that which you can see, as soon as you insert Disk 3...You know you want to do it."

Tom Hanks winks and the scene fades out.

DISK 3

The scene fades in to show Tom Hanks sitting in a black velvet armchair, the camera then zooms out to show Christian, Matt Hardy and Chris Jericho all sitting in identical armchairs in front of Tom. All of them are wearing the brand new The Gang distressed t-shirt, and sunglasses...For no real reason actually.

TOM HANKS
Hello everybody, I'm here with the Gang, Christian, Matt Hardy and Chris Jericho. Guys...The question on everybody's mind right now is this, will there be an officialization or at least a return of the Gang in the ne--

MATT HARDY
Tom...Matt cuts Tom Hanks off. Imma let you finish, but Morgan Freeman is the greatest narrator of all time.

Christian seems angry.

CHRISTIAN
Matt! What the hell are you doing you can't just interrupt Tom Hanks. Plus, no one beats him at narrating.

Jericho looks indifferent as he speaks motionless...

CHRIS JERICHO
Alec Baldwin...Just saying.

Christian and Matt now seem to agree as Tom Hanks waits for an answer.

CHRIS JERICHO
I don't know, Tom...I think people just need to tune in every Saturday night for Nightmare and find out on themselves. I can't just yell out an answer to that, I mean...It's not the same thing as yelling out Zeus, you know?

Tom Hanks picks up a batch of letters.

TOM HANKS
Okay, so on my website, www.tomhanksmwa.com, I put up a Q for A section. Where the visitors and fans all around the world could send me questions through email, and as I promised, I would read them here for you guys to answer. First one...Tom opens up a folded letter. This one is from Robert, from Worcestershire, England...Wow..."What are the connections between the Holy Roman Empire and the Church?"

Matt Hardy, Christian and Chris Jericho look confused, before bursting out laughing at the question for a good while.

CHRISTIAN
After the Apostles were killed, Constitine declared Christianity the official religion of the state. Soon Government officials looked to obtain leadership in the church in order to hold the same kind of power that they had previously.

Jericho once again looks indifferent as he speaks motionless... Tom Hanks looks amazed.

CHRIS JERICHO
In other words, they were the one and the same. If the Roman Empire needed something done, it was done in the name of God. Ever heard of the Crusades? Expansion of empire, plunder, murder, by order of God. The Empire never really fell. It just changed it's appearance to a religion. The Roman Empire still appointed kings and controled governments.

Tom Hanks looks absolutely speechless.

MATT HARDY
If there was insurrection again, the Pope, then mass murder was conducted by the king or queen appointed by the church. Ever heard of the Spanish Inquisition?

Tom Hanks looks like he stopped breathing...Takes a while to recover and go back to normal...

MATT HARDY
Back to you, Tom.

Tom "wakes up"...And quickly picks up another letter.

TOM HANKS
Okay, this one is from John Wachter from Boston. Wow, he even writes with a Boston accent...Well, "What are you guys' favorite cartoons?"...These questions are silly, seriously--

Christian cuts him off with an answer. Singing, yet motionless, and no expressions are noticed through the Armani Mafia-like sunglasses they all are wearing.

CHRISTIAN
♪ I'll be there someday ♪
♪ I can go the distance ♪.

CHRIS JERICHO
♪ I will find my way ♪
♪ If I can be strong ♪

Christian and Jericho then sing in unison.

CHRISTIAN & JERICHO
♪ I know ev'ry mile ♪
♪ Will be worth my while ♪
♪ When I go the distance ♪
♪ I'll be right where I belong ♪
♪ Dom, dom dom... ♪

CHRIS JERICHO
Does that answer your question?

Tom Hanks stares on, dumbfounded, and Matt Hardy quickly gives his answer.

MATT HARDY
Deep Throat.

Tom seems confused.

TOM HANKS
Matt, this specifically says carto--

MATT HARDY
DEEP. THROAT.

Tom just accepts the answer and moves on to the next letter.

TOM HANKS
This one is from Triple H, "Can you guys get to the locker room after this is done? I need to talk to you 'bout something."

MATT HARDY
Sure.

Tom Hanks goes on to the next and last letter.

TOM HANKS
Well this young woman here asked the second thought on everyone's mind... Becky from Dallas, "Can you guys do a 5-Second Pose on the DVD?

Hardy, Jericho and Christian almost robotically stand up and start posing, Christian freezes while pointing, just like he does in his taunt, Jericho freezes by spreading his arms and Matt does the V-1 taunt, also freezes for 5 seconds. Tom Hanks chuckles.

TOM HANKS
Thanks guys, this was all we have for this outstanding DVD, don't miss it, don't lose it, keep it like go--

DOOR SLAMS.

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Never thought I could have so much fun writing something this long. Making me go back to old times and bust out all these epic RPs made me almost cry of joy. THE GANG. IS. BACK.