To Christian....from Chuck Testa

Scene I


Christian, who is standing next to two random backstage workers, sees Matt Hardy walk buy wearing "My Little Pony" underwear. Christian turns to glare at Matt who is walking away, he looks at the Legends title belt as it slowly gets further and further away until it along with Matt Hardy, are completely out of view. Christian leans against the wall behind him with one foot against the wall to support his body, with both arms crossed. Christian turns his head towards the two workers.

Christian
Did you see that?


Backstage Worker #1
Yah that my little pony underwear are ridiculous.


Christian
Not that. The Legends Title belt around his waist. I shouldn't have to be forced into one of the most hellish matches of all time, the Elimination Chamber, for a rematch. I should have automatically gotten it, one on one. But not only do I have to fight in the Elimination Chamber, but I have to deal with the dog-faced Wade Barrett, and that freak Goldust as well.


Christian jumps up standing straight, he turns to face the backstage workers.

Christian
This is bullshit! I shouldn't have to do this. I'm going to go to Matt Striker's office and demand he changes this.


Christian leaves the two backstage workers and heads towards Matt Striker's office.




Scene II




He arrives outside the door of Strikers office before he knocks John Laurinaitus steps in the way shoving a microphone in his face.

John Laurinaitus
Christian do you have a minute.

Christian
No


John Laurinaitus
Good! Because I have a gift from me to you. Bring in boys!

John waives his hands towards he and Christian as some workers carry in a large rectangular box about six feet high, marked "To Christian"

Christian
Is it MY Legends title that I deserve?


John Laurinaitus
Nope!

The workers open the box and out pops Chuck Testa holding a smaller box marked "To Christian"

John Laurinaitus
It's Chuck Testa. Before you ask, YES! THEE Chuck Testa of the Ojav Valley Taxidermy shop, the most realistic stuffing there is. He's going to be the guest interviewer.

John Luarinaitus hands Chuck the microphone and walks away as Chuck just stands there staring at Christian with a box in his hands. Christian looks down at the box.

Christian
Is that my belt?


Chuck Testa
Nope!

Chuck flips open the box to reveal a cake marked "To Christian".

Christian
You got me a cake? They did all this shipping just to give me cake?


Chuck Testa
Nope!

Christian mouths the words "nope" as Chuck shouts it. Chuck smashes his hand into the cake and pulls out a stuffed gopher and tosses it to Christian as he walks away. Christian stands there with the gopher in his hands with a confused look on his face. He looks down at the gopher, shivers a little bit and drops it.

Christian turns back towards Matt Striker's office and barges in.



Scene III



Christian
Okay Striker. Enough with this. I'm glad that you finally got around to giving me a rematch for my Legends title. But in an Elimination Chamber with two other untalented lemmings? You've gone too far this time, and I demand a one on one NORMAL match for my title.


Matt Striker
Well I'm sorry you feel that way Christian. Unfortunately I can't change the match type or take out Wade Barrett and Goldust, they've earned that spot. I have to do what the people want, and the people want to see the four of you tear each other apart in the Elimination Chamber. But if you don't want to compete in that match, I will gladly take you out and find a replacement, I have a locker room full of people that would love a shot at Legends title.

Christian
Woah woah woah, don't get ahead of ourselves. That's not what I meant, first of all, I don't back down from any challenge, great or small. Second, it's not the Legends title it's MY Legends title. Finally, if my peeps want to see me destroy the three other men in that chamber, then that's what they are going to get. After I take those two buffoons out, I will be left with just Matt to handle. Don't get me wrong I have all the love and respect in the world for Matt, but this match, this title, is bigger then both of us, bigger then our friendship and there is nothing that will stop me from getting back My belt. So if you see Matt between now and then, tell him thanks for keeping it warm for me.


Christian turns around and walks out the door with a smirk on his face.