Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel IV

The scene fades in to show Chris Jericho, sitting on a leather stool on the Highlight Reel set in the middle of the ring. He has both the EWE Tag Team Titles draping from his both shoulders and a microphone on his hand. He raises it and starts speaking.

CHRIS JERICHO
WELCOME TO...SATURDAY NIGHTMARE...IS...JERICHO--AH!!!

The crowd pops.

CHRIS JERICHO
And tonight as always Chris Jericho will live up to his promises. I promised Single H that I would gladly hand him back these title belts and get this over with. So without further ado let me introduce to you my guest at this time...Single H!!!



The crowd boos as Single H comes out...jumpy and all happy. He starts walking down the ramp taunting Jericho...all of the sudden a black van comes from the side of the stage and down the ramp, it stops and about five men in ski masks grab Single H and toss him inside the back of the van, they thumb Chris up as the crowd is going wild! They all get in the truck and leave.

JBL: GOOD GAWD THEY JUST KIDNAPPED SINGLE H!

Jericho is seen breaking out laughing.

CHRIS JERICHO
This song is pretty good though...The song stops. Aw up yours too, PA guy!

The crowd laughs.

CHRIS JERICHO
Shit's not even funny!...Anyway... Now that we got that over with I would like to say something for Single H to watch later...you see these, assclown? Jericho shows off the titles to the camera...You are NEVER...EVER-AH...Seeing these...AGA--

TBC: HE KNOWS.

The crowd blows the roof in excitement. Matthew Moore Hardy comes out standing on the stage with the MWA Championship on his shoulder. The crowd gasps, but the cheers go on for the all time favorite. Hardy makes his way down the ramp, wearing red cargo pants and a black tanktop. Jericho is completely astonished, as Hardy gets on the apron. He pauses, blows Jericho a kiss and then enters through the ropes. Hardy gets on the top rope and lifts the MWA Championship, the crowd cheer through their confusion. Hardy drops down, places the championship on his shoulder and walks towards Jericho.

CHRIS JERICHO
What the hell, Matt?

Matt shrugs and tosses the fake championship to ringside. Matt asks for the mic from Jericho and he hands it to him.

MATT HARDY
I don't know, thought it would've been a cool way to make a comeback.

Jericho mouths the words "What are you doing here?". Matt nods in disapproval.

MATT HARDY
Now Chris, is that a way to greet a former tag team champion partner of yours?

Chris laughs and then says "We were never tag team champions together!".

MATT HARDY
Really? Well, we should have been.

The crowd starts a "Matt and Chris" chant.

MATT HARDY
Now to answer your question, Chris, I have to tell a story. It all started on September 23rd, 1974 when a future champi--

Jericho grabs Matt's hand and drags the mic closer to him.

CHRIS JERICHO
Mind fast forwarding?

Jericho releases Hardy's hand.

MATT HARDY
Sure... On the 24th of September that very year, our hero made a mess in his diapers.

The crowd laughs. Jericho mouths the word: "Further".

MATT HARDY
FINE... As some of you might know I was driving under the influence of alcohol and crashed into a tree. In my defense, that tree looked a lot like my brother. So I got sent to jail, not sure if it's for drinking and driving or the murder of a tree. Nevertheless, TNA decided to fire me.

The crowd boos.

MATT HARDY
I know, what the fuck, right? And you'd be surprised on how big MWA is in prison. Which reminds me, Jamarcus sends his regards and says that you should have been MWA Champion.

The crowd laughs and Jericho nods in approval.

MATT HARDY
Long story short, four days and one prison break later and here I am!

TBC: Jewicho (AMG JEW)

Jericho asks for a mic and is handed one by an outside official.

CHRIS JERICHO
So, since you're here... What are you planning to do here in MWA?

Hardy grins.

MATT HARDY
Well, I'm glad you asked, Chris. I plan on winning my first championship here in MWA, maybe the Legend's Championship, that thing is nostalgic. After that, I'll shoot for Punk's Championship. Then I will introduce Striker to a girl which he will marry and have kids with. He then will feel compiled to give me a MWA World Heavyweight Championship match. And once I become champion, I will ask the hand of his four yearold daughter in marriage. He will give me stocks as my wedding gift and at some point, I will lead an anarchy against him and become CEO of this place. After that I will host a show, deep in a forest. However, it won't be a show, it will be a trap. I will capture all those people and force them to breed, then kill them all, except the children. I will raise those children, feed them and teach them. They will think that I am their god. And then, and only then, will I lead them into the world and conquer nations. I will be, the ruler of the world!... And then I'l legalize drinking and driving.

The crowd laughs, while Jericho has a "what the fuck" look on his face.

CHRIS JERICHO
That sounds hard...

Hardy leaves the ring.

MATT HARDY
Which is why I have no time to waste...

Hardy throws away the mic as his music hits.